Open Letter to Tom Leykis

Dear Tom,

You are a sick bastard.
Why can't I stop listening to you?
You are a prick. And you are funny.
Why won't you / please don't stop
being a complete and utter(ly)
*hiLARious* ass (face).(?!)

Sincerely,
Me.

p.s.
die in a fire.
(oooh,a bit much?)